When you just want to take off your bra and blast your nips...

I have a lump in my upper mountain region. I'm going to call them the Kindle-ayas. I found it yesterday as I was um…rearranging the girls and pain shot straight through my nipple and attacked everyone within a 5 mile radius. Those people must have been cleaned up since leaving work, as they were not there this morning. Thank God. Could you imagine the law suit I would be facing?
So I got in the shower when I got home and gave myself the “self exam.” There it was. Not hard but kind of squishy and moved with my fingers, but definitely a lump. I had the Hubs feel me up to double check. He confirmed my fears and tried to convince me to go to the Emergency Room. I have an appointment for a physical next Tuesday so I am going to wait until then.
In the mean time I named it ‘Lumpy’. Lumpy says Hi, by the way. We chilled today. Went to Sushi for lunch and just hung around. Lumps is really sensitive and not very understanding of my feelings at all. Which is why I decided that Lumpy is a Man. Only a man could hurt like a bitch and bring so much worry to someone.
Yes, I am trying to make light of the situation, but the bottom line is…I'm freaked. Breast Cancer has run rampant in my family for a long time, as well as cysts and crap like that. I will feel much better after I know what it is. But, if it is Cancer…I’m going to be pissed.
Figured I would feel much better if I wrote about it, and isn’t that what a blog is for? So, I am writing and yes…yes it feels good to let it all out.
In the mean time, if you are within a five mile radius of my Kindle-ayas…run. The nips are on the war path and you could be caught in the spitting pain being shot from them. Just a warning.

~

The attack of the Booger Monster

Went to San Diego to hang with the Best Friend and Nephew this past weekend. Packed my bag after work on Friday, plugged the pod into the speakers and off I ventured. Second weekend in a row with NO TRAFFIC! Wahooo!!! If you live in LA/Orange County, CA you know what I mean by the celebration. Although I do often enjoy a good bout of traffic every once in awhile, because how else can you play the, "who picks their nose game?" C'mon people! It is a CAR with WINDOWS. Just because you FEEEEEL like you are in your own personal space does not mean that no one can see in. One question though, most people who are totally going to town on the booger hunt do not look like they have any tissue, otherwise they would use that, correct? And, they do not have their windows down...hense no flickability. So...Where do the boogers go? hmm. Im going to leave that to the ponder box. Im just sayin'!

Anyways~ Back to weekend. Was an a fun filled, hysterical weekend. Took the Nephew all day Saturday while BFF went to pick up her Man's kiddo. We went to my Cousin's little league game, which i figured, short attention span 3 year old and a little league game mixed would last about 20 minutes max. BOYYYY was I wrong. This kid sat there the WHOLE game and two more after that. LOVED the baseball. Mass destruction to the snack shack included:

3 hot dogs
1 bag of Cheeto Puffs

1 plate of Nachos

4 bottles of Water

2 Slushies

and a black toilet that he refused to pee in because, "It's scary."

I never thought the day would come when an alimunum toilet was scary. But, oh! how the three year old showed me the way. Which ended our day at the park as we raced to my Aunt's house down the way while he confidently told me, " Im holding my pee Auntie Kindle, I am, I really am." Here are a few pics from the park:

Had to play like the "kids". He is a slugger too! Keeps his eye on the ball and WHAM, that sucker flies!

And if you do not hit it like you are supposed to...

Golf it like it is nobody's Bidnezz...

And last but definately not least...who can resist a Cheeto smile such as this?

Encore you say? Well...I did not see any random people picking their nose. But, the Nephew never dissapoints!

Night All!

~

New Music Mondays...

I lagged last week. Oopse! So I deem today and every Monday, "NEW MUSIC MONDAY!" Rock out. Get down. Dance nekkid in the rain while blaring these from your computer speakers from out the window. Try it, you MAY just get addicted. :0)

Im kickin it up a notch this week. Shinedown blared in my ears this weekend to and from San Diego as I visited the Best Friend and Nephew. Had an awesome time. Will post pics and some funny convo's tonight when I get home from le'work. But, they are an awesome band. Been around for forever but totally do not get the proper YAHOO from local radio stations here in CA.

So, enjoy and have a fantabulous Monday (is there such a thing?)

~

Focus on the Red White and Blue...

I was listening to http://www.kroq-data.com/kevinandbean/index.asp
this morning on the radio and this man was talking about Obama. I guess he is some dude who is petitioning for the release for the President’s Birth Certificate. He was really fired up about not seeing said Birth Certificate and not having any authenticity of Obama being a full on United States citizen. Here is the link that you can go to, to check out this whack job’s stats. http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=81550

Apparently there are some 300,000 signatures that have joined the band wagon of needing proof that Obama is legal and not an immigrant.
What irks me is, he is already the President of United States. OBVIOUSLY his records have already been checked out, otherwise he would not even been able to run, correct? Why do Politicians feel the need to exploit one another? And, not exploit on a factual basis…but on speculation and gossip stories.

I in no way follow the battiness of Politics. I’m a go with the flow, if the person that I vote for does not get elected, then you support who does. No matter who IS President. They ARE our leader. I believe that they are doing what they can to make this Country run better. Everyone has different ideas and thoughts on what will make it better, but the bottom line is there is one common goal to make our Country a better place. Lets focus on THAT and not try to take down what is already in place. It is a waste of energy, time and brain cells if you ask me. I think there are bigger fish to fry right now, with the way our Economy is. Take all of that hate and that hostility and apply it to conquering REAL problems.

Stop the madness. Seriously.

~

The Real Oprah...

I just wrote this whole post in Hindu for shits and giggles. I didn't even know that you could DO that, but I hit that little button I guess and WHALAH! Hindunese appeared on my blog! (I love how I am constantly amused by little things.)

Anywho~ I like to Twitter. If you have a blog, you most likely know what Twitter is, but if you should happen to not be so fortunate, check out this site (please god let my links be working!)http://twitter.com/.

Twitter is basically a mini blog for updates or random thoughts if you do not have a pad of paper or don't feel like posting a whole post on your blog. IN FACT...I think it would be a great thing for people with Turrets to use as an outlet. And, in no way what so ever am I bagging on people with this disease. I actually think it is the best disease to have, in the way of diseases go.

Just think, you are working in your little cubical amid the cube farm in your cubey little office and instead of screaming at the top of your lungs, DUNG HEAP or whatever clever little expletive or word pops into you head and launches out your mouth at that moment, you text it to 40404 and BOOYAH...there it is online.

I'm getting distracted again by my excitement. So, I twitter. Bottom line. I log onto the server today at work this morning and open my email. There sitting in my inbox is an email from Twitter! I open it up and read..."Oprah is now following you, yes the REAL OPRAH, is now following you on Twitter. Click the link below if you would like to check out Oprah's profile." Of course I click the link and there in front of my as the page loads is THE REAL OPRAH!

I was completely taken aback. I wonder if she will ever speak to me. I daydreamed all day of getting a little message on my Twitter page saying random @Kinder posts.

Oprah makes me happy. Twitter makes me happy. I'm just HAPPY today!

~

READ THIS!

Hi!

So my favorite Blogger wrote a book and it came out today! Not sure if any of you are familiar with but, she is HIL...wait for it...ARIOUS! You should totally check out her site and her book.

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita
by Heather Armstrong (Author)

You can get it here!



Let me just tell you, when I got turned onto this site, i laughed till i was seeing yellow (wow, yellow is the color of the day!!) I loved it so much that I went ALLLL the way back to the begining of her archives (she started her blog in 2001) and read from the begining. True story.

I adore hearing of her travels and how she has blown up fame wise and is still grounded and awesome. Anyways...check out her book. You wont be dissapointed. I mean, how could you with that title?

Im just sayin.

~

Attack of the Tinkler...take 2!

I think I have CAUGHT the Tinkler! So, I am in the bathroom stall and you know when you are bout ready to...well...go and then someone walks in and it is like no matter that you are just needing to go numero UNO...God stuffed the straw of life in your bladder and sucked it back up. Seriously God? I was SO almost there. So you wait till your bladder is at that point again and uhp...there goes the door again.

Clearly I needed to focus on something else, so why not the stall next to me! No I am not a peepee peeper, by no means am I. But, have you ever noticed other people's rituals. Mine for instance is, close door, paper cover, pants and sit. THIS person next to me took it wayyyy out perportion. i could hear the paper cover...shuffle shuffle. then...toilet paper? Being lined ON TOP of the paper cover. more shuffling. Shoe appears...so some bracing is going on. And then it happened. No sitting noise. none what so ever. And then the shower faucet was turned on and you could her the splatter. toilet paper and flush.

I waited a minute, trying not to judge. Trying not to GAG. Went about my business of course AFTER the supposed Tinkler had fled and peeked in the stall next to me. There it was...The Tinkler attacked. The stall a mess. I wanted to write a note on the bathroom stall walls. It would state,

" Dear Tinkler... YOU...YEA YOU! you did it again. you managed to cover the whole stall in toilet paper and paper covers and then you unleashed your beast and managed NOT TO HIT ANY TOILET PAPER. You did however hit everything within the 5 mile radius of your bum. SO gross man. Im on to you. You wear white sneakers with funky green laces. I'll find you..."

I didn't though. But, I did tell the cleaning lady there was a yellow light special on isle 4.

Donate a Mamogram...

Received this forward today at work. Please click on the link. Even though we do not have a cure for breast cancer, the more we all click on this link, the more women will find out hopefully at an early state to where they are able to do treatment and beat it!


Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).


This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.



http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

THANKS!
~

The letter...

Today I wrote you a letter. A letter you will never get.
Today I wrote you a letter. A letter I will never forget.
I sat upon this very chair and slowly bowed my head.
Put pen upon the paper and just let the writing begin…

I wrote to you of days gone by. Of the things that you have missed.
I wrote to you of memories, of times we both cherished.
I explained the life I now lead, without you by my side.
I described the ocean you used to love, of the coming of the tide.

In the letter I poured my heart, and left you some lonely tears too.
In the letter I heard your voice talking back, I knew I hadn’t completely lost you.

I took this letter and put it in an envelope, an envelope with no address.
I took this letter to the shore with a bottle, a bottle that could accept natures stress.
I slipped in my letter and sealed the top, and let if fly with a vengeance.
I watched it fall and bobble to the surface, watching until I could only see its top edges.

Today I wrote you a letter. A letter you will never get.
Today I wrote you a letter. A letter I will never forget.
I sat down on the sand and wept and slowly bowed my head.
Raised my tear stained face to the heavens, and finally accepted your death.

You see, today I wrote myself a letter. A letter of goodbye.
Today I wrote myself a letter, to finally stop living a lie...

~

A Quick Rant...

Im annoyed. My name is Kindle and I am annoyed. I get a random text from the Hubs this morning that says, "are you mad at me?" I racked my brain to see if I had done or said anything last night or this morning to indicate said madness. But, couldn't think of anything. I replied back, "Nope." I didn't drink last night, so there were no black out periods in my sometimes shot filled head. All was good.
Normal day at work. On my way home, traffic. BAD traffic. What is WITH people who drive in Orange County? It used to be that their cell phones were glued to their heads, but THATS ILLEGAL NOW! Shouldn't that CLEAR some of the idiot-ness? Guess not.
Get home and there sitting at the counter with a steak bone in his mouth is the Hubs. Hi there unemployed sweetie...thanks for waiting for me to get home before you started eating. humph At least he asked how my day was?
I have yet to say two words since I got home. I think I am even annoyed to hear my own voice. No idea where this came from. Hope it goes away soon. But, for now I am going to eat some ice cream with that delish magic chocolate covering that gets hard as soon as it gets cold and watch ANTM.

ps...Tyra Banks is the bane of my existence, but I am a sucker for a good Reality TV trainwreck that I can not just say no to Tyra.

sigh

~

I want I want I want!!

I could very well become a very materialistic person. I don't waaaannnttt to be persay, but maaan! Wouldn't it be nice to have all the THINGS that are cool and swanky and make you go, oooooohhh ahhhhhhh? I think so.(Did I just say swanky?) And, I wouldn't use them for evil. Pinky swear! I want this camera so I can start a really learning about photography and such...

And, you have to have good photo editing software and such...so this would have to come with it...

iLife...Garageband...movie maker...iPhoto *sigh* Yes, a computer and a camera made me sigh.
Wanting these two things does not make me realistic, right? I truly beleive that if I had these things I could make some money off of them. Set some poetry to music...edit some artsy shots. Take pictures of kids in their natural environment and sell them to their parents as "school pictures" minus the stiff backround and the comb over!
Of course I would love to have a new car and a house and stuff, but I'll just start with these two :) Not OVERYLY materialistic if you ask me! Only about 5 grand worth of stuff. Stuff I can't take with me when I am dead. Can you smell the newness of it all? I am getting giddy just dreaming about it!

~

Disney Conversation with a 3 year old...

Kyle: Where’s Daisy?! Kyle wants to see Daisy.
Me: Ok, lets go find her.

Twenty minutes later, not finding Daisy…

Kyle: Where’s Daisy?! Kyle wants to see Daisy!
Me: Daisy is sick love…we can’t see her today.
Kyle: oh. Daisy is sick. Poor Daisy. Where’s Donald?!
Me: Donald is working on his car.
Kyle: oh.
Me: LOOK?! Buzz Lightyear!

Ode to a Best Friend...

My Best friend is moving tomorrow. I promised to not pout too much outwardly tonight when I helped her take care of the munchkin and pack.. It is not like she is moving to Costa Rica or anything but she will no longer be a 15 minute drive down the freeway anymore either. I joke with her and tell her she is moving to Northern Mexico as you can see the border from her new apartment complex. She laughs. She always laughs at me. In fact, she makes me feel like I am the funniest person in the world.
She’s been my best friend for 18 years. I don’t have anything in my life that I have had longer than her. Well, besides my family. But, I can’t help that! I know our friendship is not going anywhere, but the easy access is a nice thing to have (that’s what he said).
We smoked out first cigarette together when we were 11. Don’t worry, it did not take! Mom was sleeping on the couch sawing logs and we were making pixie sticks. Most likely one of my hair brain ideas, I had so many while we were growing up. We looked in the freezer to see what else we could put into the straws to make the pixie sticks even more delish when low and behold…smokes! Yes, yes it was my idea to try them…see what she had to put up with all of these years? Two hair brained ideas in one night! You can imagine what it was like to be her while being my best friend. We snuck outside and lit it up. I don’t even think we inhaled and I am pretty sure we did not think we were cool at all, but it was experience none the less. One we would put away until we were at least 15. Then it was HER idea to try them again. Unfortunately…that time did stick. And, we’ve been adventure seeking smokers since.
We had an addiction to the wiji board on Friday nights. Nothing ever happened of course, but we always tried. And, of course I would be the one to make it move and pretend it was some dead relative because I could keep my face straight as I swore, “I'M NOT MOVING IT, PINKY PROMISE!” Clearly I broke a lot of pinky promises. But the important ones I would always keep.
She was the first person I called after losing my virginity. I remember telling her and then having my Step Dad drop me off at her house to spend the night to tell her the gory details. When our parents would fight or we would fight with our parents we always would “run away” to one another’s houses. Our imaginations led us from concerts as Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston when we were in elementary school to our first dates with guys we had crushes on. We told one another everything and nothing we could ever do would ever make us judge one another. Our friendship was and is to this day a place where no judgment exists…where we know one another’s deepest secrets and trust is just second nature.
When she gave birth to my nephew she became not only one of the biggest lights in my life, she created another glowing light.

She stood by me as I got married to the Hubs and offered to be the escape car if I had any second thoughts. We both have experienced our lives together. She is my sister of the heart and soul. Best Friend to the end…
Tomorrow she starts her life. The life I always knew she deserved, with the only man I ever thought deserved her. I’m getting teary eyed writing this, so I’m going to stop. Love you Candy…

The Fray ~ the fray

As promised...I have updated my music section. LOVE The Fray's new self titled album. Check it out. Their lyrics are good, melodies better. I am definitely not disappointed with their second album.
You never know how an artist will be after their first album hits big...so I was pleasantly surprised that they stuck to who they are and created an even better second album.

Enjoy!

~

Rachel Ray Furi Knives...

There is something to be said about a lazy Saturday. I am so CALM today. I woke up and went straight for the kitchen. Got started on making a beef and vegetable stew. Adding everything to the crock pot and setting it on high for four hours. I am sitting here on the couch as the smells waft through the house. My only regret was not waiting a half an hour to start chopping and making the stew, because my new knives got here today!!! I adore http://amazon.com/. Check out these knives:

I got this set from my Grandma for Christmas/Birthday as a gift. They are 60.00 dollars at Costco and it comes with the sharpener as a set. They make cutting anything like cutting a stick of butter. I loved them so much that I could not refrain from getting the complete set.

The grips on the knives fit perfectly in your hand. I find myself using the techniques that Top Chefs use. It is so easy to do! These are the best knives in the world. The set was not the one above, as I already had the set of two. So I got the utility set, with the scissors and bread knives and a couple pairing and boning knives. 50.00 on http://amazon.com. A 110.00 dollars for an awesome set of knives and a sharpener that I do not know what I have done without all of this time!

If you like to cook and are suffering with the frustration of a blade dulling after you have cut one potatoe, this is the best investment you could make! Im not too big of a fan of Rachel Ray, but her products definately do not dissapoint.

Now I am off to the store to get a kit for sourdough bread. Time to break open the bread maker Hubs and I got for our wedding. Because, what stew would be complete without fresh homeade sourdough bread?!

YUM!

~

Im addicted...

Today was my fourth consecutive time this week having frozen yogurt. I think the additive to the commonly nick named “Froyo” is crack. I could feel the judgment searing me from the lady who has rung me up all four times this week. Take a chill pill lady…I’m helping to pay your rent. AND giving Jenny Craig a reason to stay open. STIMULATING the economy, while stimulating my cellulite. Frozen yogurt is better for you than straight ice cream, right? At least this is what I keep telling myself as I spoon this crack into my gaping hole.
I can’t stop. It is the best thing in the world. SELF serve frozen yogurt with miles of flavors to choose from, then once you have chosen as many as you want there are millllleeess of toppings to add to it. coco pebbles…fresh fruit…I mean, how can you go wrong? Luckily I can not see my own ass as I walk.
THAT would be disturbing. So Ignorant bliss I choose! FROYO for president!

~

Black Box...

I just added this little widget to the left...look left...see it? its the thing that says "Black Box"...I think? I really want to call it 'little black box', much like 'little black book'. I used to have one of those...I'm married now though, so I got rid of that. I think? Anyways...'little black box' is awesome, am I the only one who feels slightly dirty saying "little black box" over and over again? I just giggled. FOCUS Kindle! ok...right. so that little widget over there you click on and it gives you a bunch of choices to choose from. You click the one that you like the most and after making a few choices it leads you to a mystery blog!
(we interrupt this program to enter a freak out mode...my twilight bootleg is SKIPPING and the real dvd does not come out for two weeks. IT BETTER WORK STILL!)
Well, I am addicted. I have found so many interesting people to read!! It is a fun little way to search thru blogs and make some choices in the mean time! Get to know yourself as you get to know other people! If you are interested, you can click on my widget (hope it starts working again soon...im hoping it is maintenance time or something?)
But, its fun!! And, good thing it is not working right now, because I need to get myself to bed!
Night!!

~

Octo-"Mom" pisses me off...

I have put off writing about this topic for a while now. Not sure how to talk about the subject without popping a blood vessel in my forehead. But, time has passed a little bit and the hype quieted so, here I go.

First off…here are the things I will say that are in her favor (or rather not against her)…I am not in her situation or her life to be able to properly judge her so the things I am saying about it are based on what we are fed thru the media and other avenues of information being “leaked” or told by her in her own testimonies. That said and put aside. I hate the woman. I hate everything that she has stated that she stands for. Loathe that doctors and the medical community that are even *thinking* about penalizing woman with REAL fertility issues. To think that these woman might have to jump thru hoops to have just one child, and here is this thing who has 14 of them! ( no, I will not call her a woman) I can not even put myself in her way of thinking. But of course I will state what I THINK she was thinking…
“Hmm…I live with my mother. I have six kids because I do not want to go out and find out if I can have children the ‘old fashioned’ way and there are no “men” in my life, so lets just go and get a sperm donor and inseminate myself to take away the loneliness of not having a man.“
Yes, I know that the same man fathered all the same children. POOR MAN! I hope to god he is hidden from all of this chaos, and if anything about him has surfaced. I got off of the octo-mom train awhile ago so there may be “new” facts to the story. But, I can’t deal. I had to stop watching the train wreck because I was afraid of what it was doing to my frail sanity.

Ok ok, the real reason why it infuriates me? Because the hubs and I have been trying to get preggo for a couple years now and no go. Did tests and what not…in short, I have a slim chance to have my own babies. Yes, I am well aware of the growing numbers of children every day who need good homes and that I could adopt. And, I am completely open to that idea! Looking forward to it actually. But, when you hear the words form out of a doctor’s mouth that the percentage of you having children is less than California becoming the next Antarctica…it does something to your insides. After the numbness and shock, there comes the desolation. Too strong of a word? Nope…don’t think so. It is like someone took the “O” out of woman when referring to me. Just not the same. Not whole. You just do not feel whole.

The single most basic reason Woman was created, and I can’t do it. Sure…you can try to have the octo-mom treatment but that turns out to be 25-30k down the tubes if it does not work. And, there is big fat chance that it might not. Chance. I hate that word. So, for someone to come out of the wood works and become famous, although not a “good” famous because she has so many babies she could lose one and not immediately notice, drives me batty. It is irresponsible and insensitive. It’s just her. Promise. I absolutely love John and Kate plus 8. That show cracks me up and I love the way they take care of their family.

Poor kids. That’s what I have to say in closing…poor precious babies.

~

Disneyland Adventure...

Tomorrow will be the best day EVER. I am taking my nephew Kyle to Disneyland for the first time. And, the kicker? I get to take in every wide eyed stare, every giggle, every happy smile in all by myself. All of the firsts will be mine! *insert evil giggle* And, so it starts...I will forever be known as the Spoiling Aunt. A title that I am extremely happy to bear. This is Kyle...he's Three. How could you NOT spoil this kid.

Don't get me wrong, he is stubborn and I am sure we will have our share of struggles tomorrow, but not even that can take away my excitedness!! I am going to pick him up bright and early tomorrow morning, go to breakfast and then head on down to the Park where we will meet my Grandparents. Will put up some more pics when I get them all up on the computer.
Wish me luck!!!

~

Ray Lamontagne

I have a pretty eclectic span of music that I like, or at least I like to think so. Ray Lamontagne has recently shot onto my list of all time faves. His voice is unique and flows over you...makes you think. It's like a balm on open wounds. In short, he is amazing. You should listen to him. Some of my favorite songs are:

*Saved by a woman
*Be here now
*Shelter
*Can you stay
*Hold you in my arms

I posted a play list of his music below my header. If you get the chance, listen to him. I know you will fall in love...just like I did. Such passion can not be ignored :)

I am going to try and change the play list at least once a week. Play songs that are effecting my life. Hopefully they will effect yours too!

~

Attack of the Tinkler...

Squaters beware. This post is about YOU. It is about how I walk into the ladies room to use the facilities and go from one stall to the next looking for the cleanest stall to do my business in. It is how at least ONE of the stalls I walk into looks like a sprinkler has gone off in the john. Decorating it with a thousand tiny droplets of yellow substance, how it makes me GAG to even be within close proximity of said sprinkler discharge. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
I understand hovering over the toilet after a layer of toilet paper has perfectly covered every inch of the toilet in a DIRTY bathroom. But, here at work, and I am not sure about everyone else’s work…but here at MY work, this bathroom I am pretty sure you could eat off of. The cleaning lady is cleaning that bathroom at LEAST three times a day. I know this, because every damn time I need to go to the bathroom, the little closed sign is perched right outside the door. So I stand there at least three times a day, legs crossed and dancing from side to side with puppy dog eyes waiting to ask the non English speaking cleaning lady when I can relieve myself. She laughs at me every time and shakes her head no. Right…because THAT helps me.
So, pardon me if I do not understand the need to hover and pretend to be a male cat SPRAYING all over the damn toilet. It is clean. It is NOT full of gross germs. Yes, it is a bathroom, but I am pretty sure that your toilet at home is not cleaned as thoroughly. Please for all sake that is holy…sit your damn ass on the toilet and urinate like a normal self. Hence the seat protectors…USE IT. And, let me stop wandering the stalls like a lost soul in search of a place to park my ass.
Please and thank you. Amen.