"What is it about fear that holds most of us back from pursuing the things we want most in life?"
I have been mulling that question over and over in my head over the last couple of weeks and I still can not come up with an answer. Seems like an age old question asked by every person on this planet. You see, I lost my job a couple of weeks ago and found myself thrown in with the masses of unemployed people that I had felt sorry for.
I've thrown myself into the applying online and interviewing...selling myself for the things that I have been good at for so long, only to come up short. And, in that place where success does NOT breed success, I got to thinking about what I REALLY want. I don't want to be answering phones and keying orders into a system for the rest of my life. I want to pursue the things I am passionate about.
So what is it about that statement that seems so generic? Is it really that hard to do the things that you are passionate about? What holds everyone back from actually accomplishing those goals we set when we are young and have stars in our eyes? Do the hardships that we face growing up actually create the fear that makes us choose avenues in which just to "make it," ie: Pay the bills, get a house, start a family? Lots of questions that have my head spinning...or is that the vodka?
As I sit here writing about it...I can't help but think how pathetic it all is. Sure, I sit here with a cocktail and my brain buzzing with thoughts and ideas...but how is it different than sitting around a picnic table in the 8th grade with friends and Kool-Aid? Not much. And, I think, for the first time since I have been out of school, I have a purpose.
That purpose is to do what I want. To actually be happy in what I am doing. I am 26 years old and the world is my canvas. No more conformity, no more selling myself short just to make a living. I will struggle and do the things that make me happy...and then when it all clicks in place...I will search no more.
Pop quiz: Did Willy eat the lello geep and wash it down with a bee-ah or not? - Toddlers mispronounce words. It's just what they do, and it's what makes the toddler years so darn cute. "Lello" for "yellow." "Willy" for "Lilly." Juni...