The Ravonettes

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Attack of the Tinkler...

Squaters beware. This post is about YOU. It is about how I walk into the ladies room to use the facilities and go from one stall to the next looking for the cleanest stall to do my business in. It is how at least ONE of the stalls I walk into looks like a sprinkler has gone off in the john. Decorating it with a thousand tiny droplets of yellow substance, how it makes me GAG to even be within close proximity of said sprinkler discharge. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
I understand hovering over the toilet after a layer of toilet paper has perfectly covered every inch of the toilet in a DIRTY bathroom. But, here at work, and I am not sure about everyone else’s work…but here at MY work, this bathroom I am pretty sure you could eat off of. The cleaning lady is cleaning that bathroom at LEAST three times a day. I know this, because every damn time I need to go to the bathroom, the little closed sign is perched right outside the door. So I stand there at least three times a day, legs crossed and dancing from side to side with puppy dog eyes waiting to ask the non English speaking cleaning lady when I can relieve myself. She laughs at me every time and shakes her head no. Right…because THAT helps me.
So, pardon me if I do not understand the need to hover and pretend to be a male cat SPRAYING all over the damn toilet. It is clean. It is NOT full of gross germs. Yes, it is a bathroom, but I am pretty sure that your toilet at home is not cleaned as thoroughly. Please for all sake that is holy…sit your damn ass on the toilet and urinate like a normal self. Hence the seat protectors…USE IT. And, let me stop wandering the stalls like a lost soul in search of a place to park my ass.
Please and thank you. Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I hate squatters too. The least they could do, if they insist on squatting, is CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES. Ew.